My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
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He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
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Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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