Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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