this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
