But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize