Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
