The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
