...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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