In the future we'll all be gay
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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