I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
