And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
