Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
