...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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