My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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