My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
