I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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