I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
