I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
