I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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