I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize