They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
