3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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