He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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