Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
