between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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