sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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