The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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