Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
