she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
this is an emotional support booty call
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
