Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
