Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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