i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I met the friendliest cop last night
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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