my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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