she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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