When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize