I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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