Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
