Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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