I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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