why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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