You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
