God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
