no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm always down for nudity.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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