If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
