The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
