In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
