Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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