goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
