he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
