i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
