dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
