I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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