My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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