i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
