What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
