omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
