sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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