i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
