Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
