next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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