3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
