I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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