you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
