He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
