his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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