Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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