Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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