Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
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