absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
